Polish Power

I exhibit championship form in the briefcase toss as Jaz looks on. Efficienski. (This photo is from JD's impressive set of 2 Man pictures, which can be found HERE.) "Good case."

2 Man Winners & MVP

Grant & I took the victory and the trophy in this year's 2 Man Beach Olympics, with yours truly named Most Valuable Player. A great honor indeed.

RAID!

You will recall that Jud & I set the Over / Under on our group's interaction with Law Enforcement at 3.5 and, as of late night Saturday we were sitting on 3. As we were leaving the reggae band at Caribbee Key we kept pestering our cab driver for some place that was still open as J'Ville shuts down at 2:00am SHARP. He radioed in to Dispatch and said, "I got these guys, they want to go out more. Is there anywhere within 500 miles I could take them?" Dispatch was not amused and told him to call on the cell phone, which he did. "Of course! Why didn't I think of that! I'll take them there!"So we were dropped off at "Club Filter" - a supposed after-hours joint (which we naturally assumed was legal, holding an after hours license of some kind). Given the size of our group, we had to take two cabs. I went in and paid the cover charge for everyone in our group as Dave & Craig were still en route. We went to the bar, ordered beers, and sat on a couch. It became very obvious that we stood out. (None of us have neck tattoos.) It was reminiscent of the bar in Tarantino's "From Dusk 'Til Dawn" -- and so Rep & I loved it.

Matt H. leaned over to me and said, "This is the kind of bar where people get shot." JUST AFTER he said that, the door flew open as 15 police officers, 6 wearing ninja masks (!!) and at least one federal agent, stormed the place. Half of the bar put their hands in the air, having obviously been through this drill before. They controlled the bar, including an outburst by the Men's Room, and were looking for someone named "Nate" who they quickly found, subdued, and cuffed. Additionally, a bouncer who allegedly tried to run was cuffed and searched also, upon whom they found a pistol. (They didn't even LOOK ONCE at our group. Surprising given our obvious street cred with no tattoos and wearing collared shirts.) One of the officers said, "May I have your attention?"

"You've already got it."

"Anyone who doesn't work here is free to leave." And so we quickly did. As Dave had yet to arrive, he was outside with a waiting cab which we happily jumped in. Rep had called Dave previous to this saying, "It looks fine, the parking lot is full, come on down!" but Dave had to drop Craig at home. As everything was happening, Dave was calling Rep and Rep was certainly NOT going to reach in his pocket to answer. Instead, after things calmed down he texted 3 times, "Stay away!"

So we left and Morgan said, "You know, I felt a lot safer when the police showed up. I was like, 'Oh thank God! The police!'"

You can tell you are in a great bar when the POLICE RAID makes you feel SAFER.


Couldn't wait to return home. I have to say, Jacksonville does not play and we'd like to thank it's multiple members of the Law Enforcement community for being fair and showing us quite a time. Have no idea why they were there this night, but hopefully they accomplished their mission. As Rep said as we exited, "Worth every penny!"

Reggae!

After we docked the boat, most retired to the "Conch House" bar. I stayed onboard to watch the miserable Penn State / Michigan game. Afterwards, we went back to the house and guys started losing steam, watching "Dodgeball" on TV while some of us retired to the garage to have a few beers. We decided to take matters in to our own hands and repeatedly tripped the circuit breaker to the TV room, angering those watching tube. However, it was enough motivation to go out and we went to Lemon which was right on the beach. Jack and I encountered a "classy" bachelorette party, there with the bride's mother, that insisted on a photo with the two of us.

As Lemon was quiet, we bounced from bar to bar, including a quick stop at Pete's, Caribee Key for some reggae but as the band was about to go on break, we went to some awful older bar (I think it was called "Ragtime"), back to Lemon, and then the wheels came off for most people and they returned to the house in the Jud-mobile.

All except for myself, Morgan, Craig, Dave, Rep, Jack and Matt H. who returned to catch the end of a really good set by the reggae band: King Eddie & Pili Pili.


We stayed there and enjoyed the music

And the dancing

We enjoyed it so much so that when it was over, we didn't want to go home and started pestering our cab driver for places to go late night... Well... He answered.

"Good Case"

The briefcase toss. "Good case, good case." Grant & Dave were standouts, with other teams having to overcome a surprising number of foot faults. Video of Jud's throw:

Sherriff Department

For those of you keeping score at home, this was our third encounter with law enforcement - one a day. Jud & I started joking and set the over / under at encounters with the police at 3.5. I immediately took the over.

Of all of our encounters, this guy was the coolest. He was very understanding and, as all of our beer cans were empty, we didn't even have any open containers. When he asked what we were here for and we told him "a divorce party" he immediately loved it as he was recently divorced himself. We tried to get Garrett tasered, but no such luck...

Ford & Craig

The Man of the Hour Craig and the guy who traveled furthest to be here - all the way from Ireland. Well done, Ford.

G$ & Jud Horseshoes

A force to be reckoned with in horseshoes.

Team M&M

Garrett Bums A Light

Our ambassador G$ makes nice with some of the locals.

More Bocce

Bocce

MC Raw Rep shows us how they play bocce in Syria. Or wherever he's from.

Horseshoes

Had horseshoes & bocce running concurrently.

Nature

Actual marine wildlife frolicking right by our Beach Olympics:

Latigo

Our vessel for the day - the 60' yacht "Latigo." We also had a chase boat to carry the excess folks, beer and Bloody Marys. Went to a tiny slip of beach where we had to avoid a lot of surfcasters in 4 x 4 pickups and began our Beach Olympics.

Stroller Jack

In true North Florida fashion, when we got home from mini golf and our bar tour, we hung out and had beers in the open garage. Jack passed out in this stroller. Another version here.

Roadies & Groupies

Bathrooms at Freebird Live - alternatives to "Men" & "Women" -- "Roadies & Groupies." After Mini Golf we went to a few bars including seeing live reggae at legendary Freebird Live (owned by one of the wives of J'Ville hometown heroes Lynyrd Skynyrd) and a mediocre cover band at an enjoyable Irish bar.

Adventure Landing Mini Golf

A heated round of mini golf. Jaz shot the lights out scoring a 34. I scored a 41 with the high number of holes-in-one at 4. Jaz / Drobo got the Gold, with our team taking Silver. Kanguy came out of the gates strong, but fell apart on the back 9. "Too Tough" completely imploded, scoring a record low 55. JD, playing on behalf of his delayed teammate, also fell apart shooting a 48 which, when doubled to account for his teammate, got him a last place combined score of 96.

"Too Tough" redeemed his miserable golf performance with this Strong Man showing:

Jud Parks

After a day spent drinking beers and reconnecting on the beach and by the pool, we had our "Opening Ceremonies" which included the handing out of our uniforms. Jaz outdid himself this time with matching t-shirts, bathing suits and color-coordinated team baseball caps. Well done. Then Jud drove us all in the rented van (note his excellent parking job here) to Adventure Landing for our first event - Miniature Golf. Upon exiting the van with our beer cans, there was an overzealous police officer there who took our beers and demanded our IDs repeatedly saying, "We put people in jail for this."

The officer informed us that "We have a saying down here in Jacksonville, 'Come on vacation, leave on probation.'" (That is a terrible slogan for tourism and would make a lousy t-shirt) After another series of warnings and stating, "I don't know how they do things where you're from, but we put people in jail for this down here" he let us go to play miniature golf.

He keeps going

Luckiest Man Ever

Jaz vomited at the McDonalds drive through window. In front of the Police. Twice. the second time they were shining their spotlight on him. Wow... They merely asked if he was driving and when he answered that he had a taxi they responded, "Wise decision" and moved on. Interaction with Law Enforcement #1 on the weekend.

Excellence in Sports Since 1972

The Guzilla Story....

Ahh... Florida

Morgan and I played a couple locals named Jed (pictured here) & Keith (a local chef / surfer) in a "Best 2 out of 3" foosball tournament. It came down to the final point, but we pulled it out as Keith scored on himself.

Bumper Pool with Jaz

After eating we adjourned to Pete's - a great dive bar that had several pool tables, a foosball table, a ping pong table and a bumper pool table that Jaz & I dominated for the majority of the night with the exception of a large (& angry) local named Jamie who hated everyone in the bar except for myself & Jaz. Which was fine with us... While Jaz took a few games from me, he lost the games where he bet that the loser had to do 2 shots. This becomes important later...

Slider's

Went for some great oysters & crab (and beers) at Slider's Oyster Bar in Neptune Beach. Garrett kept talking. Dave H. met us there.

Men at Play

As soon as we arrived, we quickly filled a cooler and adjourned to the pool to enjoy a few poolside beers at Craiger's place in Jax Beach. Garrett started telling stories. For the next 4 days straight.

2 Airport Rendezvous

Woke up early, said goodbye to The Wife and made record time to Laguardia. Bumped into the McCarthys at the airport (again) and adjourned with them to the bar for a couple pre-flight Bloody Marys. Once I got off my plane in Jacksonville, I ran into Wit. He leaving as I was arriving, likely on the same flight. Craig picked myself, Morgan and Garrett up and we headed to Jax Beach.

Apple Store

John & Denise like Apple.

More visitors!

John & Denise from San Diego!

Killer Bees in New Orleans

As if New Orleans doesn't have enough trouble... Apparently "killer" bees have arrived, per this article.

Overblown

Here's something I never thought I would write... "What do Britney Spears and the Patriots have in common?" The media hype around them this week is WAY OVERBLOWN.

We TiVo'd the MTV VMA awards to watch the "train wreck" that was Britney. Honestly? It wasn't that bad. (And I hate awards shows... Actually... They have just made my "Dead To Me" list! They are all self-congratulatory bullshit. I used to think the Grammys might be an exception because there are performances, but no, it's all self-congratulatory bullshit. I guess the "Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame" and the "Jammys" aren't that bad. But I digress...)

As with Britney, same thing with the Pats. Did they cheat? Yes. Will they be punished? Yes. HOWEVER, the way they cheated was in a minor underhanded way whose beneficial effect is only possible if it's analyzed by a very smart strategic mind, communicated effectively, executed perfectly and only possible IN THE SECOND HALF OF THE GAME. Is the hype about this overblown? HELL YES.

Honestly, the media hype has to stop. Stop talking about putting an asterisk next to their Super Bowl wins, stop bringing up Barry Bonds (huge difference between taking illegal drugs and videotaping). They are still the best team in football and, in many ways, a model organization. So stop. (An excellent discussion about it by Bill Simmons can be found here. And another good discussion of Belichick by ESPN.com's Howard Bryant here.)

Zum Tukey!

After watching the Patriots DEMOLISH the Jets, we wandered around the East Village and then Tukey & I went to a great dinner at Bavarian beer garden Zum Schneider.

Family

Rodeo Bar

Caldwell at the Rodeo Bar, late night...

Penn State Triumphant!

Oyster Fest Redux

had fun at Oyster Fest. Oyster, Guinness, and monkey swings (see video)

Visitors!

Chris & Sarah came for a wonderful surprise visit!

Oyster Fest

Our next stop...

Bloodys with Butler

Butler is hosting Tukey & I for pre-football Bloody Marys.

Renfield

Eats a lobbie.

High Speed Bail

pulled some more Labor Day pictures & videos off my camera, scroll down for more of our boating adventures. like this remarkably stupid idea, the "high speed bail" at 35 mph.

(note how fast and far our heads bob up in the water...)

Sushi!

outstanding. had great sushi and a hilarious evening at Yama. while The Wife toiled away during Fashion Week, went out with Caldwell, Tukey and visiting "Other Lee" from Alabama. Two Lees and two Davids. had a blast.

Billiards

With The Renfield. been working very hard of late. so it was nice to get a phone call saying that Renfield was in town and let's meet for lunch. followed a late lunch with billiards and met my librarian friend David from the New York Public Library for drinks at the St. Regis hotel's famed King Cole Bar.

Grant!